After a hiatus, we bring you MORE awesome news...

So, I haven't posted in a while.  I guess I've been so excited to be out and living life (well... in comparison anyways...) that I figured there wasn't much to update.  Until today... Last year, before we discovered the cancer in my small intestine, they found what is called a "pre-cancerous polyp" in my lower duodenum.  The plan of action?  Remove it, biopsy it, and come back in a year to see if there is any new growth.  There's no way to guarantee that they got it all, so that's why they usually have you come back in a year. 

There are 3 steps before something is designated as "cancer".  There is the adenoma stage, low dysplasia, and high dysplasia.  The steps are distinguished by how abnormal the cells are from regular cells.  High dysplasia, they're pretty funky looking.  Cancer = totally jacked up.  Last year, it was just an "adenoma".  This time... High dysplasia.  It's jumped up two steps.  Instead of waiting a year, we are going to check back again in 3 months.  We'll see what happens then.  It makes me wonder what else is growing in my body... You know, the places where you can't easily stick a camera.  Where the sun don't shine so to speak.  Not THAT place. You can stick a camera there.  But all the other places... pancreas... brain... bone marrow... All THOSE places. 

So, as always, I need to end with what I am thankful for, because we are called to rejoice in ALL things (not just the fun things)... So here it goes (although I've got to warn you, it sounds depressing) Of course the obvious, I am thankful that it is still just precancerous, and not cancer.  I am thankful that they are catching it early enough to do something about.  But besides all that, I am really thankful that I don't fear death.  There really isn't any choice but to think about death when someone drops the C word.  And I am really thankful that death really doesn't scare me at all.  Like at ALL.  Honestly, it seems pretty cool.  I get a new body (score!) and I can go to a place where there is no sickness, pain, or tears.  Why would that be something I should want to fear and avoid?  I am thankful that I don't have kids where I would worry what will happen to them.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to go through all this crap terrified at the prospect of dying.  And if I had to choose between this happening to someone with kids and a fear of death, or me (childless and almost looking forward to meeting my maker), then I'm glad it's me. 

So... Prayer.  Apart from the obvious, here's what I really need prayer for:

1) I go back to school tomorrow, and I am terrified.  I can barely make it through a 2 hour shopping trip before I start feeling like I'm going to collapse.  How in the WORLD will I make it through 3 full days a week?!?!  I am banking on the fact that I get energy around kids (teenagers) and that I enjoy being with them so much that it gives me energy.  My main prayer is that my work would ask me to go from 3 days to 2.  I don't want to ask them.  I don't want to give them hirer's remorse.  But if they would ask me (for WHATEVER reason!  Fewer students, budget cuts, whatever) to go to 2 days, that would be awesome. So please pray for supernatural energy to make it through school.

2) It's a long story as to why I need this.  It mainly involves a CAT scan.  But I really want a nephrologist who is at Plano Presbyterian hospital, who is LINKED in to the hospital, who can see all my records on their hospital networked computer.  Every referral that I get, every doctor I look up online, no matter how much it SAYS that they are a part of Texas Health Resources Presbyterian Plano Hospital, for some reason they never are.  They are always located somewhere near the hospital, but not IN the hospital.  I have too many doctors.  I want one place, one address to remember, where I know that I can walk into this building, and all my doctors are in there somewhere.  Talking to each other.  Sharing medical information.  It is gotten to a point where I am willing to just skip having the CAT scan and waiting 3 more months till I can have a PET scan.  However, after the news today, that seems especially unwise.  But I don't know what else to do. 

Update: PET scan and results to come back this Wednesday

I've got my appointment for the PET scan tomorrow super early in the morning.  This is the test where they look to see if there is any other cancer in the body.  For the most part, I feel that I have taken most everything in stride.  I haven't had too much worry or anxiety.  This is the one exception.  This one test is big enough to decide pretty much my whole fate at this point.  (I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but that's kinda how it is).  For the first time, I am scared.  And part of me feels like I'm being silly because there is no reason to stress before I even know anything.  As the doctor has said, there is absolutely no reason to think that the cancer is anywhere else because it wasn't in the lymph nodes. My mind knows this, but yet I am still afraid. 

I wanted to ask a request from those of you who I know believe in God.  I won't ask anyone to do this again, and I wouldn't ask now unless I felt it was super important.  But, my request is for two things: 1 is prayer (duh!) But the second is for fasting.  If anyone feels led, could you please fast for me during this time as this test is THE most important one?  Please pray that there not be any cancer anywhere else in my body. 

For those of you who do not believe in God, I still thank you for walking with me through this journey.  You thoughts are felt over here, and you are also such a huge part in making me feel like I can handle this whole thing.  I love you so much.

So, after the PET scan comes the longest day and a half of my life.  At 2:30 Wednesday, I meet with Dr. Le to discuss the results. I was planning on trying to go to work Wednesday.  However, knowing what I do now, as in what test results I'll be hearing about, I don't think there is any way possible to just concentrate on work before hand. 

So, that is the update as of now.