Saturday, April 16, 2011

I'm DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of Wednesday, I was unplugged for the LAST time!!!  I am elated.  I am on cloud nine.  I am sore and feel like my body has been poisoned... But I don't care!!!!  I'm done!!  Now begins the slow process of healing from all the chemo.  I am wondering if they picked 12 sessions because it is based on years of research of what the body can really handle at a time.  I know that there are plenty more people out there who are still unsuccessful at shrinking their tumor, and have to go much longer.  But I can't imagine how.

My good friend from high school Diana took me in on Wednesday to get unhooked, and as we left, I had this big goofy smile on my face.  We decided to have a little celebration lunch (which I chose poorly by suggesting Mexican... not good right after chemo...) and when we got to the parking lot, she asks me "How do you feel?"  I said "On cloud 9!"  And then the emotion just started to overwhelm me.  I'm done.  At that point I started to tear up.  And then while we're sitting in the car waiting to go in, I just say "I think I need to have a little cry."  And I just started bawling and sobbing into my hands.  Thank goodness I had another girl with me!  Any guy would have started freaking out I'm sure.  (They're such weeny weirdos when it comes to women crying in front of them.)  It felt good.  It was a good cry, not a bad one.  It was a cry of relief, release, and thankfulness. 

I'm done, but I'm still not whole yet.  I still feel pretty ick like I normally do after chemo.  But I'm going to keep getting better, and I don't get kicked down in another two weeks.

Here's the video from when they celebrate your last "hook up".  I had my phone camera all ready!  I wanted to record it!  And of course they came when I was in the bathroom.  Mom tried to start filming, but pushed some other button and I kept having to tell them "Wait! Go back!" so I could get it.  So, they're are kinda laughing about that.  You'll hear me telling Mom "Don't touch anything!" when I had her the camera, haha!  I love her:)

Here's my Psalm of the day.  My mom gave me the idea to start interposing the word "cancer" whenever I see "enemies" in the Psalms.  I don't see myself as really having "enemies" per say...

Psalm 18:1-3
1 I love you, LORD, my strength.
 2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
   my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield[b] and the horn[c] of my salvation, my stronghold.
 3 I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
   and I have been saved from my {cancer}.  haha!

Just FYI, Mom and I are planning on doing a "Hurray!  No more chemo!" party in about a month.  So be looking for details:)

And in case you are curious, I'll be having another PET scan in about 4 weeks to make sure I'm still clear and a bone density check, since there is the possibility that I have lost some bone density from being on bedrest for so long.  If I've lost density, it'll just mean that I need to really eeeeeeaaase back into working out and being active because it's essentially like having osteoporosis where I can get get fractures really easily.  I'm hoping it shows up as "not a problem" (the official medical lingo...)  My plan is to get back into shape by taking dance classes.  Can't do that if I'm on the verge of breaking a hip.

Another shout out to all those who have been awesome with keeping me fed!  You are amazing, and I'd probably weigh about 75 pounds without you.  Thank you to Urla who has been taking me for fluids every monday!  And thank you all for your prayer support.  I have felt it so much.  I pray that I would continue to learn the power and importance of service through being a real prayer warrior.  Still working on that:)