Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Praise God for answered prayers!!!

HOLY COW!!  I have been praising God to everyone who will listen to me for the last two hours or so.  God is so good!  Prayer request #1 was answered!!!  And it was answered in an even better way than I prayed for!!  When they first hired me, they only really needed me for 2 days a week.  I told the lady that I could do 3, to which she responded with "Great!  We can find stuff for you to do!  Math tutorials, SAT prep... We'll keep you busy!"  The closer it came to school starting the more and more terrified I got because I knew that I was physically incapable of doing 3 days a week.  Two days didn't scare me as badly.  I felt pretty comfortable committing to 2 days, but not 3.  But now I was in the awkward position of telling my boss "Hey! Remember that whole cancer and chemo thing?  Well, I don't think I'm fully over it.  In fact, I'm so tired that 3 measly days a week is too much."  Yeah... that's not the way you want to start out a job.  So, as I mentioned yesterday about prayer, I wanted to be able to go down to 2 days, and I wanted HER to bring it up.  I thought maybe it could be like budget cuts or something.  I knew the talk would be awkward for them to have, but I didn't care.  I'd pretend to be bummed, all the while rejoicing on the inside. 

But God answered it even BETTER than that!  NOBODY had to bring it up!  We discussed my schedule, and pretty much everything fell on 2 days as expected.  And before we could really talk about the 3rd day, I just said "Yeah!  Tuesday and Wednesdays sound great, with the occasional Friday if the kids are behind." So, occasionally I'll have a 2 and a half day week.  But it's only on an "as needed" basis.  I feel so relieved.  SOOOO relieved!  And nobody had to have an awkward conversation.  It all just worked itself out.  I am on cloud 9, and actually looking forward to teaching again, instead of dreading it.  God is so good.  And so specific!  And He does it even BETTER than we ask for.

Monday, August 15, 2011

After a hiatus, we bring you MORE awesome news...

So, I haven't posted in a while.  I guess I've been so excited to be out and living life (well... in comparison anyways...) that I figured there wasn't much to update.  Until today... Last year, before we discovered the cancer in my small intestine, they found what is called a "pre-cancerous polyp" in my lower duodenum.  The plan of action?  Remove it, biopsy it, and come back in a year to see if there is any new growth.  There's no way to guarantee that they got it all, so that's why they usually have you come back in a year. 

There are 3 steps before something is designated as "cancer".  There is the adenoma stage, low dysplasia, and high dysplasia.  The steps are distinguished by how abnormal the cells are from regular cells.  High dysplasia, they're pretty funky looking.  Cancer = totally jacked up.  Last year, it was just an "adenoma".  This time... High dysplasia.  It's jumped up two steps.  Instead of waiting a year, we are going to check back again in 3 months.  We'll see what happens then.  It makes me wonder what else is growing in my body... You know, the places where you can't easily stick a camera.  Where the sun don't shine so to speak.  Not THAT place. You can stick a camera there.  But all the other places... pancreas... brain... bone marrow... All THOSE places. 

So, as always, I need to end with what I am thankful for, because we are called to rejoice in ALL things (not just the fun things)... So here it goes (although I've got to warn you, it sounds depressing) Of course the obvious, I am thankful that it is still just precancerous, and not cancer.  I am thankful that they are catching it early enough to do something about.  But besides all that, I am really thankful that I don't fear death.  There really isn't any choice but to think about death when someone drops the C word.  And I am really thankful that death really doesn't scare me at all.  Like at ALL.  Honestly, it seems pretty cool.  I get a new body (score!) and I can go to a place where there is no sickness, pain, or tears.  Why would that be something I should want to fear and avoid?  I am thankful that I don't have kids where I would worry what will happen to them.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to go through all this crap terrified at the prospect of dying.  And if I had to choose between this happening to someone with kids and a fear of death, or me (childless and almost looking forward to meeting my maker), then I'm glad it's me. 

So... Prayer.  Apart from the obvious, here's what I really need prayer for:

1) I go back to school tomorrow, and I am terrified.  I can barely make it through a 2 hour shopping trip before I start feeling like I'm going to collapse.  How in the WORLD will I make it through 3 full days a week?!?!  I am banking on the fact that I get energy around kids (teenagers) and that I enjoy being with them so much that it gives me energy.  My main prayer is that my work would ask me to go from 3 days to 2.  I don't want to ask them.  I don't want to give them hirer's remorse.  But if they would ask me (for WHATEVER reason!  Fewer students, budget cuts, whatever) to go to 2 days, that would be awesome. So please pray for supernatural energy to make it through school.

2) It's a long story as to why I need this.  It mainly involves a CAT scan.  But I really want a nephrologist who is at Plano Presbyterian hospital, who is LINKED in to the hospital, who can see all my records on their hospital networked computer.  Every referral that I get, every doctor I look up online, no matter how much it SAYS that they are a part of Texas Health Resources Presbyterian Plano Hospital, for some reason they never are.  They are always located somewhere near the hospital, but not IN the hospital.  I have too many doctors.  I want one place, one address to remember, where I know that I can walk into this building, and all my doctors are in there somewhere.  Talking to each other.  Sharing medical information.  It is gotten to a point where I am willing to just skip having the CAT scan and waiting 3 more months till I can have a PET scan.  However, after the news today, that seems especially unwise.  But I don't know what else to do.