So sorry it's been so long!!!

Wow.  When was my last post??  It's been... well I don't know if I can even call it busy or full... couple of weeks.  Much of my time since my last post has been exactly how the last post sounded: I was not "bouncing back".  But I'll talk about that in a bit.  I'll share first about good things, like my Christmas and New Years!

One of my favorite people, my uncle Graham, flew down to be with us for Christmas and it was epic:)  This Christmas was the first time John and I have actually BEEN with people.  Usually, as per Morgan family tradition, Thanksgiving is Morgan time and Christmas is all the various in-law's time.  However, my "in-laws" (John's family) all work on Christmas.  (They are so awesome.  My mother-in-law is a nurse, and she chooses to work all the major holidays to give the younger staff with young children a chance to be with their families.  Isn't she awesome?) So John and I usually fly to South Carolina just after Christmas.  Well, since I can't travel this year, Mom and Dad decided to not travel to Colorado to be with my sister and her boys.  I feel very loved.  Ergo, John's and my FIRST Christmas not alone!  I was able to delay chemo during the Christmas week, and pick it back up on Monday.  (this last monday)

I have been up and down.  I have definitely had a lot more exhaustion than in previous times, and unfortunately some nausea (but not really bad nausea.  A very manageable amount of nausea.).  A lady sitting across from me at chemo this week said that during her first trip through chemotherapy (this is her second time through), was like "a walk in the park" for the first half, and then BOOM!  Somewhere around the 6th round it nailed her.  So, it seems I'm somewhat par for the course:)  Another lady I talked to weeks ago had had a horrible time the whole way through and just wanted to positively die from nausea (until she discovered acupuncture).  So, I know my journey has been a very blessed one!

Yesterday, new year's eve (am I supposed to capitalize that?) I made sure to take lots of naps, and take my vitamins late in the day, in an attempt to make sure that I could stay up till midnight and be somewhat energetic doing so.  So, when I got there, I also had a coke, to help ensure it.  BOY DID IT EVER!  Yup.  I was awake till midnight!  And 1... and 2... all the way till 5 in the morning!  (I was not OUT till 5, I was just awake till 5.  I got home at a very respectable time for new years eve standards).  A bunch of friends and I had a small little shin-dig at a friends house.  It was awesome.  It was lovely to be with a bunch of people that I know and loved, and not a bunch of strangers hoping to not go home alone.  Ewwww.... We ate, we played games, we danced, we made s'mores!  It was wonderful.  Here's a pic of some of my favorite girls (minus Jenise of course, who is in Michigan.  Damn Yankee...)

While I'm at it, I'll add some pics of the tacky sweater party John and I went to at our church.  Warning: some images will be very disturbing! (namely the ones of John)

Well, I need to go cheer on my Frogs in the Rose Bowl, but I'll post more later!

Not bouncing back

So, this is the first time that I have really, really not bounced back after chemo.  I'm doing what I normally do: taking my vitamins, getting lots of rest... But it is not working.  I don't know if my body is just getting weaker, or if it is this sorta cold thing that I maybe got from John.  It doesn't seem like a full blown cold.  It's just sorta a stuffy, sniffly ick that is hovering on the brink of actual illness.  Translation: I feel pretty crappy, but not crappy enough for my body to give me a break and just let me sleep it off.  I can't nap, and if I do, then I can't sleep at night (like last night).  And I can't do anything else, because I feel like I'm about to get really sick at any moment.  Is this normal?  Is this the normal progression from being on chemo?  I feel really lucky so far.  I haven't had a very bad time with it at all, so I guess it's high time I  started to plummet.  I'm just wondering if it is just going to keep going down from here on.  I supposed this is just fruitless speculation.  My body's going to do what it's going to do...  All things considered, I'm doing waaaaaay better than we had originally thought I would.

I have a friend of mine, Abby, taking me to a cancer support new members meeting tonight.  It is formally "Gilda's Club" (as in Gilda Radner) but is now called "Cancer Support  Centers of America" I think.  Apparently they are really good, and have a lot of great, free support services.  I guess if nothing else, I can ask people about what "normal" is.  Part of me feels that twinge of pride that says "I don't need any more "support".  I've got plenty of support!  "Support groups" are for for people who don't have any real friends, or family around".  My suspicion is that I will eat my words in the future.  We will see.  Sometimes you don't realize what you need enough to verbalize it.  I suppose it couldn't hurt.  After 2-3 people recommending I find one, (a support group), I suppose I'll give all the 3rd party observers a little credit for maybe seeing something in me that I don't.  Although, I suppose I am seeing it a bit right now.  I am pretty disheartened at how weak I feel.  I've been expecting it, but it is still a bit depressing actually feeling it.  I'll let you know how it goes.

On the pleasant side, after I get done with the meeting tonight, my upstairs neighbor (Tara) is cooking and we're going to have dinner together:)  John is finishing up with his last class of the semester, so he'll probably be up at TCC till midnight grading, and then he'll be done for the semester!  Lula is the greatest little cat ever.  God brought her at the exact perfect time.  Here she is, playing in a gift bag that we had already opened.  (It's the little things, am I right?!?!) The random "voice over" is John telling me about how some company is sending him ads for $1000 dollar watches, and we are laughing at how wrong, wrong, wrong they got their "target audience".  (ie: us)  It has nothing to do with Lula, but he didn't know I was filming, so it's on there:)

P.S. after viewing my video here, I am reminded to always shoot horizontally.  HORIZONTALLY moron!  Enjoy my tall skinny video!

P.P.S. Although, in my defense, I am posting a VIDEO!  I'm feeling pretty friggin' technologically saavy right now:)

This round was a little rougher

Well, I am now back home at the apartment.  I stayed at my parents house a few days longer than usual.  (I have to give a shout out to Melanie Newton who picked me up from chemo and stayed with me the rest of the day at my parents house till they got home.) The chemo hit me a bit harder this round than past rounds.  I was in bed pretty much all of Friday and all of Saturday.  Still though, no nausea!!!  (or at least not much)  So there are NO complaints on this end!  I  can handle all the lethargy you can throw at me.  Just don't give me the nausea, and we're good. 

I was at lunch with John and my parents today.  Towards the end, my hands did their cramp thing, which made me laugh (because they look so ridiculous!) and Mom joined in the fun and started doing "the claw" at me, because they kinda look like that.  (For those of you who have seen "Liar, Liar")  Thanks Mom for mocking my pain:) Later, when I was on my bed, my foot did a really awesome cramp, and made the toes on my right foot give the "live long and prosper" star-trek symbol.  It was fantastic.  I could have never done that on purpose.  I really do have to take those pills like clockwork 3 times a day, or else my body starts doing all sorts of party tricks. 

I'm planning on taking this week sorta easy.  I feel better, but I still feel a little wiped out.  Thank you Lord that I have time, and the ability, and permission and the means to rest! Pretty much anything that I consider hard/difficult in my life, I always remind myself that there are single moms out there doing the same thing, and it blows my mind and reminds me of how "easy" I have it. 

Quick update: double yay!

I just got back from the hospital and from chemo for today.  I want to go lay down.  BUT before I do, I'll give you super duper quick overview of how awesome the appointment was today!  Double good news: 1) The PET scan was clear!!  No malignancies! 2) There was a friggin' huge ruptured ovarian cyst.  That was their original thought, and then they went to "Naw, it's just a side effect of the chemo" to which i said "Oh great, so this will probably happen again...".  But NO!!  Huge cyst.  Big rupture.  Lots of pain.  But probably not going to happen again!  Yay!!  I'll go into more details a bit later.  Right now, I have a bed calling my name.

Really sick

This week has been a week of extremes.  Wednesday was the worst pain I've been in so far, the weekend has been the best after chemo time I've had so far, and now, starting yesterday, I am the sickest I have been so far.  It is like my post-chemo days have gotten switched, and I'm feeling like it is the day after, but much worse.  Yesterday, last night, and today I have been fighting a fever.  This morning, I had the quintessential scene of laying on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet.  I had to post-pone my PET scan, which I really didn't want to do.  Right now, I'm wondering if I am even going to be able to make it out with my family for Thanksgiving.  It is going to really suck if I can't.  Thanksgiving, in my opinion, is absolute sacred Morgan time.  It is always the time when we have the whole clan together.  Please pray that this fever and this nausea go away.  I feel horrible.

Great day!!

So, I know the last few posts were kinda scary.  The last few days were kinda scary.  But as scary as they were, the clouds parted, and I'm having the best "after-chemo days" that I've had so far!  I was able to go back to our apartment earlier than usual.  I even went and did a service project with my church today at a place called "Exodus Ministries".  It was a lot of fun, mainly because I was with people that I love! (Jenise, Kendra, John C.)

On Wednesday, when I went in for chemo, I also met with my doctor.  Unfortunately, she affirmed all the research I had done: this type of cancer is known to be resistant to chemo, and yes it has been known to even grow or spread during chemo.  Yuck...  She didn't belittle me at all when I requested another PET scan.  She said that she would have to work it out with insurance, but if it would give me peace of mind, then it was important.  It will.  I might be being silly, but I don't care.  My body is acting the same way it did before, when I ignored it.  I just want to play it safe.  So, the PET scan is scheduled for Tuesday at 8:00 in the morning.  I am really not sweatin' it too much.  I fully expect for it to come back clean like it did before.  However, I am fully at peace if it does not.  Just rollin' with the punches:)

When I went to get unhooked on Friday, they gave me that shot again, the one that is supposed to make your bones hurt and give you flu like symptoms.  However, so far I haven't had much!  Just like last time!  I am feeling a couple of things (jaw's a little sore, body's a little achy), so it is slightly noticeable,  but not much.  I am super blessed because I have heard from so many people that have had uber bad experiences with this shot.   The only real side effects that I have are still from the oxaliplatin,  and they are all kinda funny ones - the muscle cramping (well, that one is less funny when it's in my calves and John has to carry me... like Friday).  But it's just kinda funny when it is in my thumbs. Then, I have that really strong pins and needles tingling sensation in my hands and feet, like the feeling you get when you have a body part that has gone to sleep.  That pretty much just makes me laugh though because, well, it feels funny:)  I can't remember if I've already written about these...  I think I said something in an earlier post...   Really, in summary, out of all the side effects that I could have, I think I have the best ones.  They aren't unbearable in the slightest.  I feel so blessed that I have not had the nausea.  I think there are a LOT of you out there praying against the nausea, and I've gotta tell you that I feel your prayers.  I feel them every time when I know I should be getting super nauseous, or I'm afraid that I will, and I don't.  That was my biggest fear starting out.

I've also heard from mom that some of you are memorizing Psalm 25 with us.  That is so cool!  It's like we are all connected now:)  Will, super excited about you and the other post men!  That's so fun:)  I love you all!  Time for bed...

Paranoia Research

It's 4 in the morning.  I am having a hard time sleeping.  I often have a hard time sleeping the night before chemo.  (sometimes because I just don't care.  I know I'll be sleeping for the next 3 days straight, so eh... whatever) The topic of this evening's musings: I've started experiencing some symptoms that I had had right around the time that we surmise the tumor was getting  bigger.  (ie: January - May or so)  I won't get all gross and say exactly what they are.  But they are there, and I haven't had them since everything was jacked up before the surgery. There's this part of me that is wondering, "can cancer actually grow, spread, metastasize or whatever DURING chemo?"  According to my research... it can. (Bomb drop here)  This is probably why I chose not to research all this when it was just going down.  I got to read a bunch of statistics regarding my life expectancy, and they weren't that great.  I won't tell you what so I don't freak anyone out.  I also read that small bowel adenocarcinoma has  a tendency to not respond all that much to chemotherapy.  (bomb #2)  So, if doesn't respond well, then there seems a liklihood that my "highly aggressive form of adenocarcinoma" could have spread, even during the chemotherapy.  I know I am being paranoid.  One tends to be a little paranoid at 4 in the morning when they have had the symptoms I've had for the last week.  I really am sure that there is nothing to be worried about.  I'm sure I'm just having some sort of GI snafu that is totally fine, maybe even just a side effect of the chemo.  Still....   I kinda want them to do another PET scan just to be sure.  They probably won't.  But I want one.  My body is acting goofy, and last time it started acting goofy, I ignored it and it blew up in a mid-stage cancer.  Sooooo I think my paranoia is at least a little justified.  It's not like crazy lady paranoia.  Right?  I'd have to get a LOT more cats to qualify for that crazy lady...

I'm going to try and sleep.  I'll keep reciting Psalm 25 (or as much as I've memorized so far).  I've gotta get CRACKIN' on that thing so mom and I can move on to Psalm 27 (also a very good one).

So far so good!

I was really worried about this round since last round was such a beast.  But I am doing much better this time!  Mom's friend told her about this vitamin juice stuff (some sort of Mangosteen) and that he had started taking it and gone off coffee a year ago, and it just made him feel so much better. So of COURSE mom had to get some:)  She gave me some twice yesterday and started making comments on how much more energy I had.  Then when I got up today, she gave me some more.  I don't THINK there's any caffeine in it.  But even if there was, I think I would just feel as crappy as I did before but just awake and jittery.  I am sleepy, I walk like frankenstein because of the muscles in my legs, and I'll have to stop doing tasks because I suddenly lose function in my thumbs or pinkies.  You'd have to see it happen to laugh and realize that it's kinda funny.  It just sounds sad over words on the internet. (Martha, tee hee!) But all in all, doing much better this time.  (knock on wood...) I am not catatonic, I can speak at a semi normal speed.  I am up and about (which I was NOT last time).  So, praises to God all around!  And thank ya'll for praying:)

Oh, and some specific things for prayer: My white blood count is going down, which means my vulnerability to illness is going up.  (ie: immune system starting to tank)  It's not like, crazy bad right now, but low enough for them to have to give me some big fat shot on Friday when I go in to get unhooked.  And apparently the shot is supposed to make me super sore all over, because it is doing something to my bone marrow?  So, let's just ask the Lord is we can keep that to a minimum:)  But even if it isn't.  Even if it is the worst pain than I've ever had, BLESSED be the name of the Lord.

This week in chemo

I apologize for not updating sooner.  I really need to have John or my Mom give an update on weeks like this.  I went in for chemo on Wednesday, and it's been a groggy blur since.  When I was getting the chemo, they gave me a drug for nausea that was pretty powerful.  I remember sitting there talking to the people around me, and then felt the drug hit.  I had to excuse myself, layed down in my chair, and just went to sleep.  When it was time to leave, I was still so woozy that they had to wheel me out.  The next day, I felt like I had been hit by a mack truck.  I could barely crack my eyes open as mom came in and out making sure that I was well hydrated and fed.  When I tried to walk, my calf muscles seized up.  I'm discovering a somewhat painful, somewhat comical side effect of the chemo.  I am having muscles cramp up really bad.  In my calves, and in the right arch of my foot, it is painful.  The fact that it also targets JUST my thumbs though, is kinda funny.  My thumbs keep contracting so that they move towards my palm (like you were signaling the number 4).  I was sitting there trying to use the remote control, and I couldn't!  I couldn't move my thumbs.  Come on, you have to admit that that's kinda funny:)

Anyways, when I went back in on Friday to get unhooked, they had to wheel me back up, because there was no way I could walk that far.  Daniel, one of the men who is always there at the same time as me, told me how he had had the same thing with the chemo drug that we are both on.  Dr. Le came in and said that yes, that was something that happened to some people, and gave me a prescription for it.  Apparently, it doesn't have anything to do with your muscles per say.  It is more a nerve thing, where the nerves are firing electrical impulses to contract the muscles.  The medicine helps counteract that.  It also makes you really sleepy.  Most the medicines I have make me really sleepy, so I am trying to take them only when I need them.

I am feeling a bit better today.  I took the nerve/muscle drug last night and it seems to have helped.  Everyone is gone today, so my friend Diana has come over the "babysit" me:)  I am loved.

Update on Nausea

It is so weird.  With all my fancy $100 a pill medicines for the extreme nausea, it was the ginger ale that finally worked.  I was even able to go on a nice walk with John around the park!  I'm sure it was some combination of the pills and ale, but I'm not going to dissect it!  I'm just going to enjoy sitting up!

Nausea

I wish I had a better report of how little side effects I have, or that the first round hasn't been so bad, but  I am really struggling with the nausea (and flat out stomach pain), which is what the doctor had suspected I would have trouble with.  I've taken the maximum amount of meds, and it is still a problem.  Poor John had to get up twice last night to bring me more meds: some anti-nausea pills, and eventually the pain meds to just knock me out.  I had to miss church today because my tummy was just so unhappy.

I am impressed each and every minute at what a selfless husband I have.  He doesn't act like it is a burden on him (even though I know it is).  When I whispered his name last night for the pills, it's like he immediately woke to attention, and jumped out of bed to go get me what I needed.  Today, when someone suggested I try some ginger ale (since ginger is known to settle the stomach), his first response was "Want me to go out and get some right now?"  He's got his 4 classes that he's teaching.  He's got his PhD comps to study for, and yet his immediate response is to do whatever needs to be done for my health.  I really couldn't ask for a better husband that him.  He amazes me.  I am humbled.

I called the doctor about the nausea, and they said that the only thing left was sleeping pills, to just knock me out.  I let them call it in, but I don't think I'll use those quite yet.  I am not overwhelmed to the point of needing to just be unconscious, though I might get there.  The ginger ale is actually helping a lot.  My main dilemma is whether/when to call work.  I only have a two hour session tomorrow.  I feel like I can make it through it.  I've just got this fear of throwing up in public.  And who knows, I might be through the worst of this by tonight.  I'll probably call somebody just to check in though, and let them know what I'm thinking.  I really don't want to miss out with my student tomorrow.  I really do adore him.

On a happy note, I've got a new friend!  There's a cat that has suddenly started hanging out, and has sorta adopted us.  As dorky as it sounds, I actually feel a little better when I'm sitting with her and petting her.  Animals to me are therapeutic. (I am sooooo my mother's daughter...) I think it just takes my mind off my body. It's like God just sent me a little silly piece of love, wrapped up in a furry bundle.  He hasn't forgotten me. She can't come in (though she tries!) because of John's allergies, so we just gave her a little basket with a towel on the porch, which she loves.

Boring report

Not much new to report here.  I've just been dealing with the same side effects, although they have been a little better.  I am still waking up a lot at night, and I'm pretty sure one of the meds is giving me whacked out dreams.  I woke up this morning with the taste of blood in my mouth.  I had a very mild bloody nose and I don't know where it came from.  Is that too much information?  I think that might be too much information... Sorry to gross everybody out.

Other than that, it has been fairly chill.  I've been working on outlining cellular structures today.  Earlier today, I got to meet a neighborhood cat and have some kitty loving.  That was pretty awesome.  Good times at the Ferrer household:)  Rootin' for my FROGS today!!

Day 2 of Chemo

So, they gave me that sexy little fanny pack to take home that had the 3rd chemical in it that was to drip for 44 hours.  Again, it hasn't been horrible, but it hasn't been great either.  I haven't had to wait all that long to see what the side effects are going to be: namely muscle aches.  Its hard to describe, but it's just this ache all over, like they are soaking up the chemicals or something, which I'm sure is what is going on.  It's not unbearable.  I couldn't get to sleep last night till after 4 because of it, but I'll just take the pain meds earlier this time:)

I also had my first "getting sick in public" episode.  As mom said, I almost "christened" the Culver's. (Culver's is her and my dad's favorite burger joint.)  But it was small, and again not unbearable.  So far, I am very very pleased at how not miserable I am.  That is good.  It means that I am keeping my spirits up, and not letting it get me down.  That's a big deal for me, because it usually doesn't take much to get me down (as my husband can attest to).  But, today's not that day.

I'll go get unhooked tomorrow.

And the hair cut is OK.  Not my favorite, but much better than the mop I was sportin'.  I probably just need to style it myself.  Well!  That's the wrap up for today!

Day 1 of Chemo

Well, all in all, not too bad today.  The day started out fine.  One of my kids did something that kinda worked a number on me temporarily.  He's not a bad kid.  He doesn't know what is going on, so this wasn't on purpose.  Sometimes he just gets in moods where he doesn't want to work, and he'll start saying random answers like "pineapple", "blueberry" when they have nothing to do with the topic.  Today, suddenly he randomly made a cancer "joke".  (not really a joke, but a light-hearted comment of some sort).  Normally I'm pretty jovial and smiley, but I felt everything suddenly drain away, and I said softly "Don't make jokes about cancer."   He still looked a little defiant and said "Cancer kills, man."  I got even more soft and serious and said "I know."  I  think he could tell something was up at that point.  And unlike some 16 year olds in other schools, he didn't take advantage of seeing the teacher get upset and then try to keep poking at it for fun.  It was nice to see that he was sensitive enough to realize "Holy crap, something is up.  Don't bring up cancer again".  He probably just thinks that someone close to me has it or had it.  He didn't act up for the rest of the class.  I could feel myself start to tear up at one point (we were about 20 minutes away from me leaving for chemo).  I just had to excuse myself temporarily and collect myself.  I never fully got my game back, but thankfully it happened in the last 20-30 minutes of class, and not in like, the first 5 minutes.  (We have 2 hour sessions)

John met me at school, and took me to the hospital where mom was waiting for me.  Then, like the amazing husband he is, he went out to get me a "last meal" of sorts: all sorts of fantastic-ness from "On the Border".  Salsa, chips, enchiladas with sour cream sauce, some kind of gordita... He is awesome.  Dr. Le met with us for a little while to tell me what to be expecting.  My friend Anne has been going through chemo, and she said that they had told her to expect the nausea and side effects to start on day 11, which they did.  Unfortunately, I don't get quite that much lag time.  Dr. Le said I should be feeling them by tomorrow, if not tonight.  I already have started feeling the cold sensitivity.  It's hard to describe, but it is an interesting sensation.  It's actually kinda cool feeling.  I'm sure the  novelty will wear off.

When they put me in the back with all the chemo patients, they hooked up my port, and then the lady said "Now, this might make you a little bit sleepy..."  Aaaaaaaand that's the last thing I remember for about 2 hours.  Ha!  I think I needed a nap.  I think my sleep's been a little spotty lately.  Can't imagine why... When I woke up, I still had about 2 hours left, so I was able to talk to a close friend from Hawaii that I had lost touch with, and then played some words with friends with Mom.

I'm back at her and Dad's place right now.  She and I were just watching some TV, when all of a sudden I could feel the queasiness starting to descend.  I don't think it is too bad yet.  I took one of the less powerful anti-nausea pills so I can save the big-guns for when it is getting really bad.  I'll keep them by my bed tonight, just in case.  I think I'm going to go to Mom's Bible study tomorrow, since all the women supposedly want to meet/see me.  THEN!!  Mom is being awesome by taking me all the way to Fort Worth to have this one place give me a hair cut.  I haven't had one in over a year.  They are the best salon I've ever been to hands down (It's called "Cut Hair Salon" in Fort Worth) They are amazing)  I want to get a little bit better cut because.... Yay!   A photographer friend of mine from Fort Worth is going to do a shoot for John and me.  We haven't had any photos done since our wedding, so I figure now is the best time.  I also wants some pictures of me before I start looking all scary-like.  So, that's the motivation for the new 'do.  On Friday, I go back in to be unhooked from this current drip that I have to wear for 44 hours, and then Saturday, Tracy Autem Photography is doing a shoot with me and John.  It'll be different being on the other side of the camera.

So, that's the update: emotional beginning, sleepy start, good conversation, Bible study, hair cut, unplug friday, fancy photo shoot saturday.

OHHHH!!  And the most important tid-bit:  Yes. Yes I am rocking a fanny pack with the stuff attached to my chest.  And yes I am accepting offers to sew/bedazzle/bling up one the worst fashion faux-pauxs of all time and bring it back to sexy.

Update: PET SCAN CLEAR!!!! Chemo plans...

Wooohoooo!  The PET scan was clear!  This was so huge!  Now that it's clear, I'll explain why it was such a big deal.  I didn't want to freak anyone out before, but if they had found anything anywhere else, it would have put me immediately into the stage 4 category with a 95% mortality rate within a year.  I didn't want to freak anyone out unnecessarily. But we are good! 

From here, I am waiting to hear back about installing the port.  Apparently, the port is something that they install under the skin that will just feel like a bump.  It's kinda like a permanent IV hole, but the skin actually grows over it.  The only stick I'll have during chemo is to puncture the skin covering the port.  But that's not bad.  It's not like having to dig for a vein that may or may not roll.  The port is installed via an outpatient surgery-like procedure.  On the up side, they do put you under, so I'll be out when they install it.  On the down side, I am already taking quite a beating recovering from this last surgery's anesthesia.  But this one should be much less gnarly since I'll only be out for about an hour, and not multiple hours, like the small intestine resectioning.

The nurse said that they were going to try to schedule for this Friday to do that, but might have to do it next week.   Chemo, as of now, is scheduled to start on September 29th.  It will consist of a 2 day process that I will do every other week.  First, I'll go into the cancer center at Plano Presbyterian hospital.  I'll always see my oncologist (Dr. Le) first.  Then, they'll hook up my port to one type of chemo and let it run for around 2 hours.  Then, they'll unhook that one and hook me up to another one for about an hour, hour and a half.  Then, they give me the third one, which I actually take home with me.  I'll get to sport a sweet little fanny pack for 46 hours, and then come back into the office to have it disconnected.  John's excited about decorating it.  I'm a little more skeptical as to the extent we can make it fashionable.  But maybe I could sew a couple of little cover bags to match various outfits.  We'll see.

Dr. Le is a bit worried about how my body will respond to the chemotherapy.  She is sensing (rightfully) that my body is much more sensitive than most.  That, and apparently thinner people have a harder time.  Since I just dropped below 100 lbs, she is expecting that I may have a bit harder time with the chemo.  She is prescribing me some mega-anti-nausea meds, so I am thankful for that.  She is really a sweet, caring doctor.  I like her.  Also, she presented that paper on my case at the conference, where the 8 other doctors looked in depth at my case.  They were all in agreement as to both the diagnosis, as well as the course of treatment, so I feel confident that we are doing the right thing. 

Some of the side effects that she expects will be nausea (of course) as well as a fairly severe cold insensitivity.  As she described it, I won't be able to drink cold beverages as it will "feel like you are swallowing glass shards".  Appetizing... I won't be able to reach into a freezer even at the grocery store!  So weird... But, we'll see what else pops up.  I hope that I don't psych myself into having some plethora of psychosomatic symptoms stemming from my own expectations of it being really gnarly.  My mind is excellent at wreaking havoc like that.

Anyways, that is the main update for now.  There was a whole lot more information, but this is long enough.  OH!  One more thing.  Apparently my "uncommon" form of cancer is SO "uncommon", that it is not even listed in the national registry of cancers.  They list like, everything, and mine is so uncommon that it didn't even make the list!  I knew I was special...