Thursday, August 16, 2012

It's been a whiiiiiiiiile....

Hello again! It's been quite a while since I wrote last. Mainly because I didn't know what else to say. Things are going fine. I'm progressing. There's been no new sightings. I feel boring:) But my mom tells me on a regular basis that people ask about me, and why I haven't posted. I have another friend of mine that went through a really horrific ordeal a year or two ago and I still go to her blog sometimes, hoping for a new entry, because I really enjoyed hearing what the Lord was doing in her life. So, maybe it's the same here. I still write. Lots. I just don't post. So, maybe I'll start posting, for those of you who have been asking. It probably won't be about my health all the time, but it will be about what God is doing and what He is showing me. And honestly, it is nice posting it, because it makes me more accountable to what He is teaching me. When I put my thoughts out there for anyone to read, I have to really think through them. I have to consciously decide "what is true, and what is lies". (And by lies, I mean things like I am worthless, or things will never get better, or God doesn't care).  Those are lies, and they are lies that we are all tempted to believe from time to time. And apparently I am waaaaaaay more apt to spread the lies to just myself than I am to spread it to everyone else out there. So writing here is a good way to affirm what I know to be true, because I am not just writing for myself anymore.

Things are up and down physically. They were up for a long time this summer, and it feels like they are starting to go down again. It might be because John and I are moving into a new place right now, but my energy has been crashing like crazy. I'll sleep for 10 hours and wake up feeling exhausted, and I'll have to lay there and pray for the Lord to get me up, because I know that if I stay there in bed, I'll sleep all afternoon and then I won't be able to go to sleep that night and get on what my boss calls "Dracula schedule". John is such a trooper, because he is so aware of my limitations and never holds them against me. He is so much kinder to me than I am to myself.

I start school next week. (Well, inservices next week, and school the week after). I'll be doing about 3 days a week again, and even that I'm starting to get nervous about. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get in the groove. I think the whole world looks scary to me on days that I don't have energy (like today) because I don't feel like I am cabable of conquering even small tasks. On the days that I feel good, I have so many plans, and projects, and ideas, and thoughts all bubbling forth because I guess I project having that much energy in the future to do them. Apparently, whatever state I'm in, my brain assumes will last, and projects accordingly, whether that be good or bad.

John and I were in a tough spot this summer. Things were up in the air with whether or not another school was looking at him. Our lease was up, and they were going to raising the rent ANOTHER 50 bucks! They do that every year. We were paying too much for waaaaay too little space. But I didn't feel like we had the freedom to go find a place yet. So, we moved in with an awesome friend who had a 2 bedroom condo. During that time, we had our car broken into (twice), about 2 and a half weeks of this summer without air conditioning. Car trouble, a bogus ticket, and a huge swarm of flies that invaded the place. Thank God for my parents house... But we have now just moved into a charming little townhome. We are paying approximately 50 dollars or so more than we would have been paying at our old place, and we are getting almost 400 more square feet. Ummmmm.... That's a step in the right direction I'd say! So, we have spent the last couple of weeks trying to get everything in order before  school starts. We have almost made it! The place isn't perfectly polished and decorated yet, but it feels like home, and there's not piles of boxes everywhere. I DID get super creative and create a wall of books with curtains for super cheap. I'm pretty proud of my handiwork:) I can't figure out how to upload the picture from my iPad, but I'll post it eventually. Haha!