Hello all! I was having lunch with my mom yesterday and she mentioned that a lot of people were asking about me since I haven't updated in so long. In this case, no news is good news!
I started working part time at the Dallas Learning Center in August. I think I had at least posted about that, how I was able to get 2 days instead of 3, which I have been soooooo thankful for. There really is NO way I could have done 3. I feel about to collapse with 2! But it is a good exhaustion. And since I'm prepping for 3 new classes (Chemistry, Biology and Physical Science), I have plenty of work that I do at home. When I first started, I dreaded going to school each day because I was so tired. However, I discovered that I was having a different feeling at the end of each day: I would leave absolutely loving the job! I absolutely love working there. I love my boss. I love my coworkers, and I love the kids!
The scores on my first round of tests (for the kids at school) a few weeks ago came back very very good! Much better than other teachers they've had in the past!! I got lots of kudos for that. And it's not like I'm making the test easier because it is a test from a distance curriculum from University of Nebraska - Lincoln. The tests are actually pretty hard. I'm just doing a good job prepping the kids. My boss was very impressed, and very pleased.
Like all of last year, I have my good days and my bad. Lately, I've been having a lot of bad though. I find that if I have a day that I do a lot of activity, it takes me several weeks to recover. My day this month was fair day. John and I had a blast! We worked through the whole place eating every fried dish imaginable. (This is the entire reason John goes. He's a pretty frugal guy.... until fair time. Then he'll drop about 50 bucks on food alone!) We both get fair tickets from our school though, so at least we didn't have to pay for admission. We were there for like 10 hours! And boy have I been paying for it ever since... But if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing :)
My poor sweet John is struggling pretty hard. He went full time at the high school (so that I could have health insurance) and it has been so much more work than when he was part time. On top of that, he's teaching the class at Tarrent County College, and still working on his dissertation! He's got 230 pages so far, and working hard. But he is so tired, and getting really discouraged. He's just ready for it to be over. Prayers for his continued strength and renewal would be greatly appreciated. He has been my rock. He has taken care of all that on top of taking care of me. He is such a rare gem. I can't imagine life without him, and it's hard to see him so weary, knowing that there really isn't much I can do about it. As soon as I start trying too hard to do stuff around the house, I get sick, and then he has to take care of me more. I do what I can, but I feel guilty a lot. Through it all, he never complains or makes me feel bad and keeps telling me that the best gift I can give him is to take care of myself, and not feel like I have to keep the house spotless. (Ha! As if I could do that when I was perfectly healthy! Haha!)
Thursday, we are supposed to leave for Texas A & M. John has organized a panel discussion, similar to the one he did there a few years ago. The one a few years ago was called "The God Dialogues" and it had 2 atheists and 2 theists arguing from various philosophical angles for the existence of God. They had over 300 people and it was standing room only. This year, they are having 2 atheists, 2 Christians, and 2 Muslims discussing "The Problem of Evil" (meaning if a good God exists, then why is there so much evil in the world). They will each be discussing how their world view gives account for this phenomenon. We are supposed to leave Thursday after lunch, drive to A&M, do the panel discussion that night, spend the night in the hotel that they are putting him up in, and then drive back Friday. I am really hoping that I can make it. I am on the verge of getting sick (as I am so often...). If you would pray that the Lord would just heal my body this week, that would be AWESOME.
So, looking into the future... I don't have my next PET scan till next month. It feels like an eternity away. Has it only been 2 months since my last one?!?! It feels like it's been 4. I wait with baited breath for those PET scans because in between each one, my mind wanders. I'm losing weight a little. Wait! That happened last time before they discovered the cancer! Small pains in my abdomen? Better pay attention to those... Poo looking a little funny? Did it look like that last year? I can't remember... On and on my brain goes, looking for any sign that mimics what was there last year, before they diagnosed me. Then I get my PET scan, and when it says "clean", I breath a sigh of relief and wait for another month or two, before I start having all these fears creep up all over again. It's silly and pointless, and I know that it is silly and pointless. So I thank God that he will give me the strength to stand, come what may. And I ESPECIALLY praise God for those closest to me that He has given me to hold me up when I can't.
And one more super stupid request... I have a picture of myself from Halloween last year. I knew I wasn't feeling well enough to go to the costume party with my friends. So I decided to be all pitiful, get all dressed up in my costume so that John could take a picture of me feeling sad and pitiful in my costume in the living room. I really want to go to the costume party this year. That's the other reason I really want the Lord to heal me this week. It's on Saturday night. It would be a lot to do, going to A&M a few days before, and then doing the party. I know I really need to listen to my body, because being sick for work is not acceptable. Anyway, it would just really mean a lot to me if I could feel well enough to go to the party. (I feel silly asking...)
Well, that's all for now. It means so much that people were asking my mom for me to write again. I feel very loved :)
Thanks for the update! Sorry you are still so tired. No fun.
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