Dear John and Hillary,
Thank you so much for filling out the pre-application to our agency. After careful consideration our agency and social services department will not be able to approve your application based your recent history of cancer. Even when cancer is in remission, we typically want to see at least 5 years of stability prior to starting an adoption. Some foreign governments require at least ten years. You may be able to consider a domestic adoption in the meantime.
(not that I blame them really though...) And in case you were wondering, we weren't really applying to start the process now. It was just the pre-application that you have to do to even start thinking about it. I guess it's best that I found out to stop thinking about it now rather than later.
John says that it is altogether possible that I got cancer when I did because God wanted a way to really determine the next 5 years of our life, and that this could be His way of saying that He wants us to really focus on the college students that John will be working with. Maybe college students are the only ones that we are supposed to be "adopting" in the future. I just feel like it's this club that I'll never really be part of. You know... the mom club.
God's perfect and He knows your heart pretty lady. Can you foster?
ReplyDeleteThat's for sure something we had already talked about for years. I just thought I'd have my own first, so I could figure out what the heck I was doing before I tried to work with the more challenging ones.
ReplyDeleteI just read your post, and my heart hurts for you. Though I know I cannot fully relate I believe I can just a little bit feel your pain. I have learned that our Lord is well aware of the longing hearts of his daughters desiring children. It's so hard to swallow when His answers don't immediately line up with our hopes. I'll pray for your hopes and God's plans to be in full agreement. I love you, and I KNOW that God has some pretty awesome and special plans for you. You already have spiritual children you have nurtured with much love, and your life has given life to many others. God bless you both with joy in whatever path He leads you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke for you when I read this. I can tell you that my old youth pastor and his wife's hearts were in the youth ministry, they told EVERYONE that they were never having children, that it wasn't in God's plan for them. They had been married 7yrs then, and had been off of birth control the entire time. I don't wholly know the story, but they have a beautiful two year old boy, and they have been married for about fifteen years. God does know your heart, for the record I think you would make an amazing mother. He hasn't brought you this far to leave you out in the cold. Your father loves you, knows and wants what's best for you.
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